Choice & Consequence
by Erulastiel Nostariel
Summary: Padme is in love and secretly married to Anakin during the Clone Wars but what if she had wandering thoughts about Obi-Wan?
1. Chapter 1 New life

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Star Wars related that George Lucas created. I do not get any financial benefit from writing this fanfiction.**

**Choice & Consequence (Part 1)**

**Chapter 1: New life 22 B.B.Y.**

As the Nubian sun set on our secret wedding day, I looked on with my newly christened husband, Anakin Skywalker, with hope and uncertainty in my heart and soul of the things to come. With the battle of Geonosis still fresh in the back of my mind, along with the cold metallic appendage that now gripped my small hand, I savored whatever sanctity of peace we could get. The holy man, with R2-D2 and C-3PO, had given us our space on the balcony that overlooked the lake where my love and I shared our first kiss not too long ago.

I was brought out of my deep serenity when Anakin turned towards me to say, "Let's go inside", gently drawing me away from the peaceful balcony.

Anakin made me feel like no one else had ever and will ever. For that I was deeply thankful, even though our now secret double life threatened to ruin our careers should our transgressions get out to the Jedi and political world we were surrounded by all our lives.

I decided to take the lead once we entered the Naboo retreat that I was obviously more familar with. I brought Anakin to the hallway leading to my room, for it was bigger and more elegant than the guest room, making mine more suitable for our honey moon. My wedding dress lightly dragged on the floor but I still had to pick it up to avoid tripping on it, so Anakin scooped me up into his strong arms and swung me around laughingly.

"You're as light as a feather!" Anakin jokingly teased me as he entered in the bedroom doorway swiftly putting me down.

"Of course I'm as light as a feather when I'm being held by a big, strong Jedi like yourself!" My smile grew as Anakin's did as we felt love for one another so intently in our hearts. I did not need to be a Jedi Knight to feel the warmth radiating from my husband but I guess it wouldn't have hurt since Anakin could perceive my emotions so well.

Anakin shut the door behind us as I lowered my dresses veil so I could take out the pin that lightly kept a part of my hair half way up. Despite everything that had transpired since Anakin was assigned to be my protector, I surpisingly did not feel tired. I should have felt it since I had barely gotten any sleep the past three days but my excitement for my first night with my love kept me up almost in a wired kind of way.

Anakin seemed to have read my mind and body language as he said with light innuendo, "I'm not tired at all, Padme, quite the opposite." He strode right up behind me with his hands lightly placed on my shoulders then began tracing my neck with the flesh of his index finger.

It wasn't even that I needed a man's touch, quite frankly I needed Anakin's touch and only his. I tilted my head to the side so he could have more access when I heard his voice crawl into my head.

"I need your touch too Padme. I've craved it for so long..."

I was only slightly startled by the fact that Anakin practically probed my thoughts but I didn't think much of it. Since I was so in love with him so I accounted it to just an innocent act.

I turned around to look up into his handsome face as my brown eyes bore into his beautiful baby blues. A minute of this felt like forever but I was glad that it would be our forever and that no one would be able to take that away from us.

"Padme..." Anakin breathed in my scent and sighed in contentment as he placed his head against my chestnut brown hair.

Out of a sudden urgency, he cupped my face in his hands, looking at me so seriously and without a word, pressed his hungry lips to mine. I welcomed the sweet kiss that I had wanted so much and it turned into a battle of our tongues as my lips parted. My mind was buzzing with all of the possibilities of what could happen but I knew what would happen for certain. My hands wandered enthusiastically up to his shoulders where his Jedi robe rested and lightly shook it off to the floor as Anakin's hands met the small of my back.

Another moment longer and we could not stand the barriers that kept our bodies apart. Our skin was screaming to be let loose from the bindings of clothing that clung to our bodies. His lips regretfully left mine in search of my neck to kiss, suckle, and nibble at as my hands found his belt, dropping to the floor quickly. My hands had an urgency about them but my mind told me to take it slower so I could savor our first night together and the taking of my maidenhood. Anakin, for respect of not ripping my dress, took his time getting me out of it even though his wishes were the same as mine. My defensive walls were all but demolished at this point and even though I was once a reputable women with the title Queen of Naboo, tonight I was none of that. Tonight was our one definite night to be with each other and be as passionate as we wanted to be so I was taking advantage of it.

"Oh Annie..." I murmured softly as my dress lightly fell to the floor which left me in just my scantily clad underwear.

Anakin responded by taking his tunic and undershirt off in one fluid motion and kicked off his dark brown boots to the corner of the room. I caressed his now naked chest and felt the smooth yet muscled contours of his body and trailed to his biceps as his hands wandered also. My fingers glided so easily over it all and I was in wonder of how such a beauftiful body could be before my own. He grew impatient of standing so he used the force to lift me and gently placed me down on the bed as he took his pants off. The only thing that kept our skin from being completely on fire from the touch of one another was his under shorts and my underwear that covered the bare necessities. I bit my lower lip in anticipation of seeing his naked flesh in front of me as I knew he could barely contain his urging manhood while thinking of the same thing.

"We belong together, my love." His whisper barely audible in my mind but enough to drive me crazy with desire to be one with him totally.

There is only so much holding back a man can do with a woman and at this point Anakin's hold was about to break. My hand reached behind my back to undo my covering as Annie swiftly pulled down the other, making me completely naked and leaving me to wait for him to take his turn. He teased me a little bit, placing his hard manhood against my thigh through only his shorts, making me cry out softly. Without even moving his hands, an unseen force yanked his shorts off, ripping away the last barrier that kept us from being in a passionate fire of skin on skin. His hand easily found my breast, caressing it softly but needingly at the same time.  
I held onto him tightly in expectation of what was to come as his lips met mine over and over again. Finally, he entered me slowly in caution, for this was the first time for the both of us and yet it felt so perfect, regardless of the intitial pain I felt. My maidenhood was torn away like a veil being lifted and the pain never felt so good. I gasped in pain at first and then it wore away quickly due to Anakin's healing technique he naturally knew as a Jedi.

Our love making was very gentle at first, but soon the paced thrusts dove into me, quickening and slightly deepening. Anakin softly moaned my name in ecstacy into my ear as I wrapped my legs around him wanting more and more.

"Oh Anakin..." I could barely pause to take in a quick breath as he moaned in acknowledgment. I took his face in my hand and intently stared at him as I told him I loved him over and over again. Waves of pleasure felt like they were being poured into me continually and I could barely contain going into an oblivion of bliss but somehow I slowed myself. This closeness we felt with each other was like an unbreakable bond I knew in my heart couldn't be broken, no matter how hard I tried. I wanted the edge of oblivion to tip over when Anakin was ready for it and only then.

"Say you're mine, Padme. I need to hear it."

I could barely supress a moan as I told him, "Yes! I'm yours always Anakin, always and forever."

With that, he thrust into my wetness harder and faster than before with a renewed strength that amazed me. Waves of pleasure kept building up for the two of us until we were enveloped by Nirvana, kissing passionately in a feverish motion. I raised my hips up and down to meet his, his seed pouring into my waiting womb as my pleasure tipped over, past the brink. We both moaned at the same time and then ended it with a kiss and said we love each other as Annie finally collapsed onto me. I cradled his head on my chest as we caught our breath for the next minute. This is what real happiness felt like, not just the physical part but more importantly the emotional bond that we carried between us. I would die if that bond were severed.

Anakin rolled onto his back and dragged me playfully on top of him, then sighed in contentment. Having just consummated our relationship, he smiled smugly at me in triumph, whispering to me, "All mine, forever." I was Anakin's and he was mine thankfully, but at the same time a little voice in my head felt uneasy and warned me about the possiveness. We were risking everything to be together and I feared that kind of negative (and yet sometimes positive) emotion could only bring trouble.

Putting it out of my mind, I nestled my head on top of Anakin's broad chest lovingly as a round of sleep finally over took me in what felt like forever.


	2. Chapter 2 The clone wars

**Chapter 2: The Clone wars**

Sadly, the honeymoon was short lived. Only a week into Anakin "protecting" me, he was called away on a mission with Master Obi-Wan to Raxus Prime to prevent the Dark Reaper project which would be used for the dreadful Force Harvestor. For the rest of the month I constantly worried about Anakin while he was away fighting for the Republic, but it was for the best.

War tears families apart and I feared that it would do that to my marriage so I held onto hope as did Anakin and stayed strong for us no matter what. The next time I was to see him was a month and a half after the Force Harvestor was destroyed, with Obi-Wan, but under terrible circumstances. Chancellor Palpatine thought it was best I stay on Naboo for the time being, so ever since the wedding I had been biding my time with local work in Theed and doing whatever Senatorial duties I could. Little did I know that the Separtists had concocted a vile plan to poison the Gungans on Naboo but first started with our moon Ohma-D'un as a testing site. Thank the stars that Anakin and Obi-Wan managed to save my home world.

In a jubilant, one day celebration much like the one held ten years previously, the Gungan leader Boss Nass presented the two Jedi with tokens of their gratitude and also unknowingly gave me a chance to see my beloved again. I had sent a formal invitation to Anakin and Obi-Wan as a cover so I could see my Annie that same day, but secretly hoped Obi-Wan wouldn't be around too long for the stay. As the two cloaked Jedi walked into my Theed loft, I saw his eyes sparkle seeing me, which made my heart melt.

"Good afternoon, Milady. I'm glad to see you're doing well with the most recent incidents looming above everyone's head." Obi-Wan graciously said to me with a warming smile that I always appreciated when I seldom saw him.

"Yes, Master Obi-Wan, it's been quite stressful lately but I've done my best for my people and the Republic in these trying times!"

I politely returned the smile and looked at Anakin to acknowledge him. "Hello Anakin, I hope your training has been going well. Here, take a seat you two." I gestured to the couches in my lounge room and sat in the opposite chair facing them.

"I've been doing my best to keep up with my studies and training even though Master and I have been quite busy, but thank you for your concern, M'lady." Anakin answered my inquiry with a more curt politeness, trying his best to hide a nineteen year old young man secretly in love with the woman he was talking to.

_"In so many ways I'm older than that..."_ gentle whispers in the back of my mind resounded from Anakin in response to what I was thinking about.

In some ways it was nice to have a sort of private conversation going on with him but at other times it still bothered me a little that he had that access to the only place I was supposed to truly have privacy.

My thought was interrupted by the clearing of Obi-Wan's throat as if he were goading Anakin into doing something. I found out what he meant by it when he said, "Anakin, why don't you go get that package for Padme, that's waiting? That's a big part of the reason why we're here today if you don't mind my young apprentice." They nodded off to each other and Anakin walked out of the loft for a few minutes which left Obi-Wan and I to talk.

"It must be nice to get a break from your duties in order to be honored for your hard work Master Obi-Wan. I know it feels that way sometimes when that happens to me."

"Oh, it doesn't matter, being a Jedi means serving the greater good and not being selfish so I don't really need the praise or time off. The Jedi council would see it as unbecoming!" he joked in his own little way of humor that I found cute in a silly kind of way so I chuckled along with him for a moment.

"Well that's good, there needs to be more people like you, that aren't Jedi. I admire your nobleness Master Jedi, always have." I nodded to him in acceptance as he modestly accepted it.

"Thank you, Senator, the same could be said of you." Then I felt this odd, negative feeling in the pit of my stomach that crept up into my heart that accompanied Anakin walking in. Was it jealousy? I would have to talk to him later about it, not when it was too much of a risk with Obi-Wan around. From out behind Annie stood C-3PO, the very gracious yet chatty, human cyborg relations protocol droid. I had been waiting for the return of the protocol droid to Anakin but he had been detained for investigation by the Jedi about what had transpired on Geonosis so we had not seen him since.

"M'lady, I was just wondering if you would like to enlist in the service of C-3PO as neither of us needs a protocol droid in a war. I would work better with an R2 unit in a cock pit obviously too!" Anakin earnestly proposed to me.

"Hello, Miss Padme. I am glad to be at your service!" 3PO interjected with a courteous voice.

"I would be honored to have you at my service. It will give Dorme a break!" As I said this, Anakin hid a smirk behind his master's back as it turned. He wiped it off quickly as Obi-Wan rose from his seat to grab my hand in farewell.

"Senator, it's been lovely seeing you again. I do hope it won't be the last." With that good bye, he lightly pecked the back of my hand at the unseen discomfort to Anakin as I bowed as only a princess of Theed would do.

"We can only hope that this war will be resolved as soon as possible." I sighed at the last word as the two Jedi walked out of the loft, Anakin giving me one last glance.

"We'll be together again as soon as the force allows it, my love..."

"Now, Miss Padme..." 3PO's voice almost completely faded into the background as I pondered when the next time I would see my husband and for some reason also Obi-Wan.


	3. Chapter 3 Patience

**Chapter 3: Patience (4 months after Geonosis)**

Soon after that the Chancellor had given his blessing for myself to return to Coruscant as it was deemed safer than Naboo could be, considering the near poisoning it almost sustained. My mind was mostly preoccupied by Senate and committee meetings but there was always a part of the day I secretly reserved to thinking of Anakin. Word had gotten back that Obi-Wan was successful at eliminating the Separtist bounty hunter threat by the name of Durge as other Jedi victories rang true like the defense Master Yoda pulled off on a sacred Jedi planet named Ilum. Obi-Wan had just gotten back and was now stationed at the Jedi temple for the time being until Anakin would arrive any hour now. My apprehension rose as hour by hour went by to over hear news of the outcome of Anakin's mission on Yavin four.

Five hours after he was supposed to land on Coruscant had been a long enough wait so I carefully staged a run in with Obi-Wan right around the corner of the temple. As I walked with a cool demeanor, C-3PO chimed in a question, "Miss, Padme, I am to run into Master Obi-Wan accidentally?"

"Yes, 3PO, and do not let him know I told you to do it, no matter what."

We continued walking until I saw a brown cloaked, tall figure in the near distance walking into Dex's diner. We made our way far across the walkway to some peddler shops and thank the stars we did not have to wait long. It took only a minute for the golden droid to wander away from me and "accidentally" bump into the light haired master Jedi. I stayed looking unaware at the edge of a store I was about to walk into, acting my part, as a smooth, husky voice reached my ears.

"Padme? Your droid seems to have run into me by accident. I think he lost you in the crowd." His statement was followed by an apologetic ramble of 3PO playing his part I assigned to him down to the teet.

"Obi-Wan! I knew I'd see you again. How have you been?" I listened intently to the conversation as I pretended to browse the items on sale. Obi-Wan walked by my side patiently with a peaceful look on his face, regardless of the state the galaxy was in.

We made small talk with each other for a few minutes until I remembered that the whole reason why I wanted to talk to him was to see how Anakin was doing. I felt stupid and puzzled with myself as to why I ended up being so curious with a Jedi Master but pushed it out of my mind. Finally the topic of Anakin came up when C-3PO brought him up, wondering where his maker was.

"He led a group of troopers to Yavin's moon but all were slaughtered except him by a Separtist commander by the name of Asajj Ventress. We still don't know very much about her but will hopefully put together what we can when my padawan returns, which should be any minute now actually. Yavin is a little bit further than my trip from Muunilinst was so you know how hyperspace travel can be." I nodded in comprehension and held back showing too much interest so to conceal my real feelings on the subject.

Obi-Wan then offered to walk myself and 3PO back to our security transport as he had to get back to the temple to welcome back Anakin.

"May the force be with you, Master." I nodded goodbye as did he and then I was greeted by Captain Typho and Dorme, wishing more than ever to be back in Anakin's arms again.  
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Padme Amidala was a beautiful, regal, and yet very concerned young women about the Jedi, more than any other politician I had seen, next to Palpatine. Ever since my padawan and I had been assigned to protect and find the assasin out to get her, she had taken more interest into the Jedi, more so than ten years ago when Qui-Gon, (force rest his soul) and I first helped her.

At the ripe age of twenty-four, her beauty was glowing as ever before and even I, a Jedi, could admit that and could not fully blame Anakin for his "intoxication" (back when we first crossed paths after a ten year abscence) as he had called it, by her. I began to think of these things right after my visit with Dex on Coruscant and when her protocol droid had bumped into me in the middle of the walk way, looking for her.

"Oh, I am so sorry! This walkway is so crowded, and I'm trying to find Miss Padme. I'm not supposed to leave her alone out here!" I reached out to the force and immediately sensed where the Senator was, almost directly across the street in the mouth of a doorway to a shop.

It was almost too convenient that she had happened to be so close to me on the whole city planet of Coruscant and made me wonder.

The droid and I walked across to meet the cloaked Amidala, looking at intricately woven sheets hanging up on a wall. She seemed genuinely surprised and happy to see me, which for some odd reason brought warmth to me but I pushed it aside to remain ever mindful of my surroundings and the living force. Of course we talked of the war and everything having to do with it and Anakin's status of arrival and his mission. She told me of the reason why she was visiting the market places of Coruscant; to look for a birthday present for one of her nieces that lived on Naboo. Her eyes sparkled with a wonderful light as she bid me the formal Jedi farwell of good luck as we parted ways after escorting her back to her transport.

When I got back to the temple awaiting news of when Anakin's ship arrived, I decided to metitate in my chamber but first sat on the couch in the lounge room I shared with my apprentice. As tiring as the efforts I had put into defending the Republic the last few months, my thoughts still lingered on one person: Padme Amidala. Out of curiousity, I looked up her family file to find out more about her roots and surprisingly found that neither of her two nieces had a birthday coming up remotely soon. It was odd that she had given me an excuse to why she was so close to me, literally right across the street from my previous destination. Had she purposely wanted to see me? It was hard to tell her motives when she concealed her emotions so well, obviously a trait she honed as a politician.

There was something about her aura that I hadn't felt since the bond I had shared with Siri Tachi. Though we had decided it was for the best we didn't pursue our feelings for one another we had since we were young padawans, a deep, secret part of me had always hid away love for her without attachement. These similar feelings that swarmed around in the back of my head when thinking of the Senator, deeply bothered me but I resigned to it all and retired to my chamber to metitate on the force for inner tranquilty and hopefully answers to the mysteries swirling around my life.  
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I stepped out of the turbolift that led into the foyer before her Senate apartment with more longing for my wife than ever. It had been nearly two months since I had last seen Padme and it was only briefly and left me wanting so much more. I could not touch or kiss her soft lips then for it would have given us away to my master, Obi-Wan so we parted ways as if mere friends. I had arrived back on my familar home of Coruscant two standard hours previously around dinner time but was forced to attend a briefing with the Jedi council so was unfortunately held back while Padme patiently waited to see me.

The sun had set, helping to set a guise for myself since I was not supposed to be where I was but on the streets patrolling the under city. I would have to come up with a good excuse for Obi-Wan later definitely but now I was not worried about that. As the doors to the apartment swiftly opened and shut as I stepped through, I saw an angel standing with her back to me, looking out onto the city towards where the temple was. She had a simple black dress on, matched with a simple yet intricate head piece on that pinned her hair up into a fancy twist with two braids hanging down.

"You know, it's not safe to stand by windows anymore, with assasins and bounty hunters flying around the city." The sound of my voice resulted in a sudden burst of radiance and love I felt emanating from Padme in the force but she did turn around immediately.

Instead, she answered me smugly, "Well I guess I won't have to worry about that, now that I have a Jedi here to protect me."

She turned around and added, "I'm the safest when I'm with you." She winked at me as I strode towards her in what seemed to be only a couple of steps all the way across the room to reach her. In a second her small but feminine form was wrapped up in my arms as I held her tight, not wanting to let go instinctively. Padme finally brought her face up to mine and got a good look, seeing the vertical thin scar I sustained over my eye from my fight with Ventress in the jungles of Yavin four and lightly touched it with a sympathetic look.

"It healed fast, don't worry." My tone of voice and stance shy, protesting her critical, worrying look that made me come undone from the inside out.

"Annie, I'll always worry about you. Ever since this," she grabbed my gold metallic hand and continued, "and even before that" insinuating that dark experience I had after my mother died. I shuddered at the memory I had tried so hard to put past me, in fear of what I could become if I did not.

I looked intently into her brown eyes with a serious tone, lightly touching her soft cheek "I will protect us from anything and everything that tries to hurt us, I promise."

"I believe in you, darling." I could hear her answer echo in her mind as I let the courtesy blinds to the windows down and dimmed the lights on the wall and met her on the couch in the lounge room. She looked as beautiful as ever, and she was all mine, always. After my mother had died I knew I could not live another day without this woman in my life and deep down in my soul I had to have her. Padme had noticed my appraisal of her when she commented on my own appearance and how it seemed I had grown. I didn't really see it except for maybe in my eyes but I hoped that my knighting ceremony would be soon, so I could give her a real gift that meant something: my padawan braid. Out of no where I got a vague feeling about Padme, as if she had been with someone earlier in the day. It must have been Obi-Wan, I could feel his force impression he left on her, blocking out the life energy I usually felt from her.

"You were with Obi-Wan today weren't you?" My suspicion was not of her but him and it was hard to keep a cool, even voice as I spoke to her.

"Yes, I was anxious to hear news about whether you were coming home or not since your transport was late by several hours. You know how half the time the HoloNet can't be trusted to relay everything, especially with Separtist spies around." Her voice was soothing and reassuring and yet it did not fully comfort me. I saw the looks and unspoken judgments Obi-Wan had given me about her and naturally I didn't like them.

"I don't trust him when it comes to you, Padme. He's a Jedi and his first priority is the council, not us." Concern and alarm plague her face as my apprehension grows. I stand up out of agitation over it all and everything else that has annoyed me about my master and try to keep my control as a Jedi is supposed to.

"Annie, you can trust him. You said he's like your father!" The concern in her voice makes me wonder if it is for me or for him. I don't know why I feel that way, I just do and I hate myself for it. Padme reached for my hand when I chose not to respond to her and then I could not contain my anger any longer.

"I saw how he kissed your hand, I saw! I know you love me but I..." I am struggling for words as she sits there, stunned with her mouth slightly open.

"I can feel something going on Padme. I feel it in my gut!" My body is trembling with anger as I compulsively pace back and forth in front of her, with a clearly upset look on my face.

Padme responded with a somewhat distraught look on her face that almost turned to a rare bout of anger that I had never seen from her. That did not deter me from my own anger. "Anakin, I cannot believe you would think that about him and I." I had never mentioned a suspicion about her, just Obi-Wan, so this furthered my intense suspicions that felt like a chain reaction.

I started to feel a cloudiness over my judgment and I allowed it as I walked up to her with a fire in my eyes, while defiance shone in hers. I towered over her shapely figure with a hunger arising in me but the dark had not abatted in me. I was not myself at this point and I welcomed it as she looked at me questionatingly and then with a little bit of fear that was trying to be kept at bay. My desire for the woman that was mine came over me in such a rush the next thing I knew I was pushing her right into a corner that she did not seem to welcome as she was infuriated with my bad behavior. Padme put her hands up to my chest to keep me at arms length but the effort was futile as I ignored her.

"Anakin, stop. I don't have time for this." I pressed my body up against hers in need and anger as I grabbed her hands in warning.

"You don't want to do that Padme." My voice did not feel like my own; I felt like I was only half there and the dark was letting me know it was alright to let go of everything and feed into my primal needs and instincts for release. With the force at my very finger tips, I used it to keep her hands down and she started to struggle against me in protest. I knew deep down she wanted it, she just wanted to be difficult despite her voiced protests. I could feel fear and anger coming off her aura and I welcomed and fed off it as much as the dark held onto me. The dark whispered things into my head and would not leave me alone as long as my wife struggled against my hold, against my advances.I kissed her neck roughly in submission to the dark's wishes and my own as I loosened my hold on her hands with the force.

"Annie, please we can't do this, not like this!" Her head was turned away from mine as I continued to listen to the dark's pleas. My hand started to undo her dress to grasp at whatever bare skin I could find and soon my hand found Padme's breast. I needed her so badly and just wanted the dark to slip away but it was so persistent.

"Padme, give in..."

My inner voice floated into her mind, I know she heard it and she knew then that I was struggling like I had in that garage on Tattooine. I gave her insight that let her know that it wasn't fully me that was doing this, that I would never want to hurt her. Her body at once became still for a moment as my lips felt scorching hot passion as they needingly kissed at her neck. The darkness still pushed me to be in control of her and soon, she stopped fighting it all and gave into me. The dark in me did not completely fade out. It refused to be extinguished and held on through my basic instinct to be in this woman and fill her completely.

Padme responded to me when I roughly parted her lips with my own and savagely took her tongue to my own mouth. I tore at her dress to get it off but needed her wetness to envelop me so bad that I did not bother to completely undress her and myself. The front part of her dress was ripped away to expose her supple breasts in a hurried motion, that I barely noticed I had done it when I moved on to opening my pants for her to access. Padme kissed and nibbled my neck multiple times as I lifted her bottom up for her legs to wrap around my waist, using the wall to hold her up.

"Do it..." She said to me, ironically in an impatient fashion.

She winced in anticipation as she knew that I would not be gentle this time. I needed a release as none other as I pushed my manhood into her with precision and rammed her hard against the wall, driving into her tightness. Her moan was load, almost to the edge of a scream and I groaned in pleasure as I continued thrusting into her, fast and hard. I held her arms above her head to show I had control, so everything would go the way I wanted it to, as she wanted it that way at that second also. Soon, Padme was clawing to take off my tunic to see my bare chest while I easily brought the dress up over her head and onto the floor. I let her wrap her arms around me as I kept her legs around my waist and took her to the bedroom to continue the brutal love making. She placed her hands on my shoulders, getting a solid grip as I thrust into her for several minutes that pleasured her and I so much. Ten standard minutes went by and at that time, I felt Padme tense up as she moaned and writhed in ecstacy. My hard member pumped as deep as I could into her, to the very depth of her womanhood until I at last spilled my seed into her, the cruel darkness completely gone, thank the force.

I felt like myself again and hastily rolled off of Padme and onto my side of the bed in shame over the way I had treated her. I don't know how she could stand the sight of me when she laid her battered body next to mine. The only words I could say to her was I'm sorry over and over again until I could not control myself, so I broke down in remorse for losing control so easily. I am supposed to be a Jedi, a protector and I had already promised I wouldn't fail again.

"Shhhhhhhh, it's okay Annie, I forgive you." She cradled my head as I let out all of the negative things I had been holding onto the past four months and soon my body tricked itself into sleep even though I only wanted to spend time with my her for the one night we would have for a while.


	4. Chapter 4 Uncertainty

**Chapter 4: Uncertainty 21 B.B.Y. (8 months later)**

Months passed since that one frightful and passionate night with Anakin and I had not seen him directly since. Over the next few months I would receive secret hologram messages from him about every month or so that kept myself going as I was alone and miserable without him. After the credibility disaster for the Jedi resulted from the Spaarti incident and the bio-droid threat had abated in the Outer Rim territories, Anakin and Obi-Wan still fought metaphorically to catch their breath from the war. I was not to sit around doing nothing either. I had started to prove myself as a "proactive" senator first when I accompanied Master Yoda to the planet Ilum from my star yacht as my husband and his mentor fought valiantly.

Before the two were called out to the planet Skye to bring peace, my own safety had come up again. Nute Gunray, possibly my biggest nemesis was on my heels again and wanted my head on a silver plater. The intensity of hatred he had for me had doubled when I escaped the arena pit of Geonosis with my life, something he had vowed to remedy. I knew for sure that Anakin would have none of it and the Jedi Council surely would not either for I was one of their biggest supporters so they made it clear that the two Jedi would protect me and neither would go off on another mission like Obi-Wan had before, until other increased security could step in.

For about a week, I was under their watch because the clone army was so stretched doing their best to protect the Republic that it was hard to spare a whole group of clones to protect me when a Jedi could probably do a better job anyways. The Council wasn't too worried, considering the fact that there was enough Jedi generals to handle the Outer Rim sieges especially since it was only a year into the war.

We traveled on my own personal Nubian ship, the one that had been recovered off of Geonosis, and only took Dorme, Captain Typho, and the droids C-3PO and R2-D2. Dorme followed me as we went to the small, private bedroom suite I had used so many other times during travel (between my home world and the world I currently worked at) while the three men talked in the cock pit.

"M'lady, where should I set this?" Dorme gestured to our two personal bags we had brought. Our clothing was already safely tucked away in the closet so I just pointed in that direction as I sat down on the bed. "I figure I can pull out the guest bed from the wall for you Dorme, and the Captain can alternate watch with Master Kenobi and Jedi Skywalker as they sleep in the crews quarters." She nodded to me in agreement and set out to the inform the men of the sleeping situation. As I sat on the bed I felt two very familar presences nearby and knew who they were obviously but did not know why I felt the both of them. That had meant Obi-Wan was purposely probing for my presence and making his own known to me. It was hard to read him and what his underlying motives were but on the outside they seemed innocent and compassionate. Each time I saw Obi-Wan I grew uneasier at his presence, but not in a negative way, just in a different kind that I was used to. Anakin would not like it if he knew I thought of Obi-Wan more than I should be.  
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I checked my chrono for the standard time that would be on Coruscant now and saw it was just after dinner time. After going through a final check to an internal list I kept in my mind with Captain Typho, I decided to retire to the crew quarters to meditate and center myself after the long day. Padme was just finishing up her dinner along with Dorme in the kitchen section of the ship I sensed and I came to the quarters where Anakin already was, meditating.  
I sat in the lotus position and began to center myself but started to have trouble staying focused when I realized who I was thinking about again. I had meditated before over my concern of the frequency of Padme Amidala popping into my head but had come to no conclusion the few times I ran into her over the past year. I tried reasoning with myself that I was only stressed over the constant fighting and defending of our freedom and was just looking to a friendly, familiar face to help soothe my mind but I knew the only way to resolve my issue was to get to the core, real cause of it. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~~+~+~+~

I couldn't believe it. Just one day prior to our arrival to Naboo the Jedi Council called me back for a "meeting, crucial it is!" as Yoda stated for some unknown reason in the holographic transmission we received! This would take me away from Padme again and even worse, the little bit of darkness that came creeping up whispered to me, warning me about leaving her alone. I tried to shake it off of me but it bothered me none the less. What was I so scared of? Not being able to protect her myself or leaving her in the company of Obi-Wan? I felt in my very bones that something wrong was going to happen sooner or later and I could not let that happen.  
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When the transport ship arrived to take Anakin back, I felt a ruthless and unending aching in my heart. He was only with me for a few days and we had no time to touch, kiss, and show how much we missed and loved one another, only stolen glances sent behind everyone's back. Anakin and Obi-Wan stood side by side as my ship docked with the Republic cruiser.

"Hopefully this won't take long master, I'd rather be attending to my civic duties." Anakin admitted to Obi-Wan, trying his best to hide dissappointement.

"I'm sure it won't take long, Anakin. The Council knows how important our missions are whilst Count Dooku makes his next move." For a moment it looked as if Anakin had forgotten about me, and how much he would miss me, in order to look on the bright side. If we had never fallen in love he would have gone without hesitation at all. I still feel guilty deep down for putting him in the position he is in, but we chose this double life in the end and we choose every day to endure for our love.

"Senator, you'll be safe with Master Obi-Wan, don't worry." He flashed me a small smile as I nodded to him in agreement.  
"May the force be with you, Jedi Skywalker." Beating Obi-Wan to the typical Jedi catch phrase with which made the both of us chuckle but better yet, Anakin glowed from the inside as this was our secret way of telling each other I love you.  
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With Anakin going back to Coruscant conveniently, this gave me time to speak with the Senator in a more comfortable matter without being nearly as formal minus a padawan looming over myself, following my example. Naboo was a relatively peaceful planet and the first home of Amidala, so it was a perfect tool to elude from all of the violence of the war and be able to effectively protect her while the solution to Nute Gunray was being searched for. As the Nubian ship gracefully landed on a docking platform in the business district of Theed, I left the cock pit to meet the Senator to make sure everything was ready to go.

"Dorme and I are all ready to go Master Kenobi" she breathily exclaimed as she set down a big bag.

"Here, M'ladies, let me get those for you." I grabbed the bags and Captain Typho took the main luggage and loaded it onto our transport cart while Dorme shifted uncomfortably in a watchful stance. Dorme was a good assistant but better yet, a trained semi-body guard that was highly devoted to Padme.

"M'lady, I don't want to leave your side, even with the Master Jedi around, no offense to him." Uncertainty filled her eyes concerning the situation one of her closest friends was in.

"Don't worry, it'll be like last time I left Coruscant with Anakin, except this time you'll be really close." I caught a glimmer in Padme's eyes as she winked to her friend with strong reassurance that was admirable of a women of her standing and reputation.

Typho and Dorme were to be in the residential building on the same street as Padme's often unnoccupied Theed loft and would easily be in contact with us at all times if needed. Since my ability to protect her was obviously better than a trained security guard with a blaster was, it was automatically decided that I would stay in the living room on practically constant watch over her. By dinner time, everything was settled in and the kitchen cooks had just started the evening meal. I sat on the lounge chair reading over some data pad's that entailed some information sent over to me from the Chancellor about Anakin's next mission he would under take. My focus on the reading was interrupted when I felt the presence of Padme enter the room in a quiet, modest fashion.

"I've been called to the palace by Governor Sio Bibble once again in request of her majesty Queen Jamilla, tomorrow afternoon Master Jedi." I nodded my head in understanding as I gently stroked my scraggly beard that slightly itched. It started to itch more profusely which embarrassed myself when Padme gave a light laugh.

"You know, if you don't keep up with your appearance, things like that will happen to you!" She lightly sat down next to me, an amused look on her face as I forced my hand down to my side.

"It has come to my understanding over the years, that the Jedi aren't as attuned with that aspect of life, Senator" she looked at me in a curious manner that made me explain a little bit further, "Especially during times of war, we obviously don't pay too much attention to our outward appearance. We tend to not accumulate possessions either." Comprehension on the subject that most people did not understand or try to dawned on her face, that made me satisfied that I wasn't speaking to a carbon wall.

"Very interesting, Master. I think the Jedi aren't that far off from politicians in that area then." She stated as a matter of fact.

"Oh, really...please explain more. By the way, you can call me Obi-Wan, since this is an informal conversation."

She continued on with her own insight with a clear and strong voice, "Well, Obi-Wan, the politicians that aren't corrupt and are genuine about actually serving their people aren't as concerned with the luxurous things either. I know the main reason why I only wear these elegant gowns and senatorial outfits is because it's expected by me, like playing part of a bureaucratic charade. We are expected to follow tradition and I can only hope that it does not get in the way of what we're supposed to be really doing in the end."

I could hear the honest truth in her voice and I saw it in her appearance also. She was wearing a very simple and modest red-orange gown that covered her very well and was one of the less intricate and fancy dressings I had seen her wear in public in the past. I was becoming very impressed with Padme, something I was not used to, being that I did not usually trust politicians since I had only seen that they would do whatever they could to get funding to their career campaigns.

When she finished, she politely awaited my response as the food servers came into the room and served covered dishes to the dining table.

"Well, Ms. Amidala..." We got up to sit at the table while I continued to speak. "It looks as if we do have some similarities then, which makes me look up to you even more than I already did. I usually don't get this close and personal with public servants besides my own kind." Her warm, endearing smile shined on her face as she commented that she was glad that she was the one I had talked to about it.

"It's Padme in "informal conversation" as you call it. Amidala is my public service title I had taken years ago." I chuckled softly and under my breath when she referred back to my previous comment and we ate our dinner in a friendly silence, content I had gotten to know her better on a personal level that would undoubtely help me sort through my ruminations.  
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**End of Part 1 ( I intend there to be around three major sections with a number of chapters for each)** **Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5 Missing

**Chapter 5: Missing 20.79-20.67 B.B.Y, (2 months later)**

It was not even a week later after our intimate conversation on Naboo that Obi-Wan was deemed unneccesary by the Jedi council for proper protection for myself and was transported to lead the Republic in battle on the small, Outer rim planet of Jabiim. Anakin was called there around the same time and I heard the battle went on for a whole two months by Senator Organa via the HoloNet. We sat on the lounge seats of my Coruscant loft after the daily Senate hearing had concluded along with a young, auburn haired Mon Mothma and the now distinguished Jar Jar Binks.

"Deesa battle on Jabiim been goin' bombad, Senators!" the usually jubilant Gungan exclaimed to the three of us with a half hearted sigh.

The regal voice of Mon Mothma, voice of Chandrilla, resounded off the wall as if she were speaking to the entire Senate, filling the room, "This has been the worst battle to date. I hope it does not go on much longer. I do not like that it seems like a playground for the Chancellor to try out his new AT-AT walkers at the expense of clone trooper lives."

Bail Organa spoke more casually than the previous senators, "I'm honestly more worried about the increasing security measures Palpatine has taken over the past few months; I hope it doesn't have to go much further!".

"As am I, Bail, for the sake of the Republic and democracy." We all bowed our heads in agreement to the two statements in unison as I looked out the window that overlooked the distant Jedi temple. Jar Jar noticed what I tried to subtlety look at and asked if I was wondering how the Jedi generals were doing, since we obviously had a history with particular Jedi.

"Unfortunately, I heard word of Master Obi-Wan Kenobi perishing most recently, though they haven't found his body." The moment I heard the words out of the Alderaanian's mouth it took all of my will power to keep my composure from failing me. The great Obi-Wan, dead? It couldn't be! As great of a Jedi Anakin was becoming, he was his master and taught him everything, and was so wise and experienced with the force. My heart for the rest of the conversation felt like a rope was pulling on it more and more until finally, when Mothma and Organa left and only Jar Jar remained, I could only hold tears at bay in my eyes.

"Awhhh Senator! Yousa should have some hope, after all, deesa Republic never found him!" I softly patted the tall humanoid on the shoulder and bowed my head in grief, only being able to think of how Anakin would take the news and sincerely pray that the news wasn't true, for his sake...and mine.  
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